SCA event and some weirdness

[carmenbeaudry]

.I had a good time at May Crown this last weekend, despite the weather (rain, sun, sunandrain, wind, more rain to pack out) and some scheduling problems, but I have a lot to think about, too. I ended up not going to the joint Laurel/Pelican meeting. I don't have very strong feelings about the topic and I really felt that my going wouldn't do anything except upset me, due to the same political stuff that almost made me quit 4 years ago. I feel a little bad about that, but I do think I made the right decision.

No, what I'm doing a lot of thinking about are two things that happened, involving different people. First, I got my first taste of someone sucking up to me just because I'm now a Laurel. I find that behavior more distasteful than how this person used to treat me, which was to ignore anything I said. Makes me want to go outside and spit on the ground. I handled it by ignoring the fawning and answering the questions as best I could. Oh, well, maybe the information will sink in and that's what's important, after all.

The second is that again I have had someone ask to become my apprentice. I'm going to have to think about this very hard, and I think I'm going to tell them that I'm more comfortable with having students first. I really need to sort out what I'm looking for in an apprentice, and I think one of my problems is that I really am a very private person and have trouble making new friendships. There are people I've known for years who really don't know "me". Another potential problem is that this person was apprenticed to someone I have very good reason to dislike and distrust and I don't know how that will affect our relationship. Also, she lives in Canada, although the distance isn't really a problem, if everything else pans out.

 So, any thoughts on this? Comments?

Comments

[jesshartley.livejournal.com]

*hug*
I agree that taking students (And being very careful to define what that does and doesn't mean first) is in many cases wiser than jumping into apprentices...

*hug*

[corbaegirl.livejournal.com]

Yep. I'm really good at starting things, but not so good at follow through, and I really don't knowhow best to address that.

[corbaegirl.livejournal.com]

Oh, and to add to everything else, I have a very bad case of "imposter syndrome" about my Laurel, especially after having seen some of the A&S displays this weekend.

[parlor-games.livejournal.com]

I would wait at least a year before entering into any fealty relationships; I actually waited 3 years. :)

Taking students can be really great - and I recommend defining the relationship very narrowly - this person is a student of yours in XXX. This way you can help to avoid it seeming like a proto-apprentice relationship. Instead of being "yours" they are merely being mentored in a specific area of knowledge. Does that make sense?

[parlor-games.livejournal.com]

meh. I understand, but meh. people are elevated for a whole bunch of reasons, some of which will never show up in an A&S display.

[corbaegirl.livejournal.com]

Yep, it does, and is what I'm thinking about. I don't want to take any apprentices for at least a year, and it will take more time than that if I don't resolve my issues with it.

Take with a rock of salt...

[javagoth.livejournal.com]

...because I think I may be PMS'ing a bit... That disclaimer being said:

I'd be really tempted to flat out tell the person, loudly, that I'd prefer that they continue to ignore me as they did before a Laurel was awarded because their fawning was both undesirable and distasteful not to mention hypocritical in the extreme.

As for the apprentice - I'd hold off for now.

Re: Take with a rock of salt...

[corbaegirl.livejournal.com]

In a non-SCA setting, I'd probably do just that, but as it is, I'm mostly amused. Was I supposed to have lost my memory during my elevation? I didn't, and I'm not likely to, either.

I'm waiting at least a year to take any apprentices, and probably longer than that, if I don't figure things out. I can always take on students instead--I'll teach anyone who'll listen, after all.

[evaria.livejournal.com]

I agree that ignoring whoever it was is probably for the best. I must admit that my mind is now running around in circles trying to guess who it is but that doesn't really matter. I'm not surprised that something like that did happen. I've never understood people who refuse to believe that somebody knows what they're talking about unless they have a shiny.


Everybody has pretty much said what I would say about students and apprentices. Everytime I think of that type of thing I always remember Yusef and his wives. Even though that wasn't a "real" position or fealty it still ended up coming back on him when one of them did something that made people annoyed. Admittadly, only 1 or 2 were ever a problem in that regard but it still was a great example to me of why one should be very careful of who one links oneself to.


I will stop babbling now, glad you had fun at may crown. Are you going to be going to june faire?

[corbaegirl.livejournal.com]

Yep, I will.

Oh, I've had better (or worse) examples of fealty biting one in the butt than poor Yusef et al. Some of my dear Laurel's choices were not stellar by any stretch. And then there's the whole Fluffy pile of doo-doo.

[evaria.livejournal.com]

Oh I know you do, so do I. I'm not entirely sure why his sticks out to me so much, it just does. Maybe next time we're hanging out we can ruminate on that particular subject.

Speaking of hanging out When if the next time you'll be in the area? Katy came up today but since she left from dad's she was unable to bring the stuff from celeste. Not to mention that it is nice to just sit and have tea with you. I have a folding table now so it's easier to keep the pot level.

[evaria.livejournal.com]

Oh and I asked about June Faire as we're contemplating going to it.

[corbaegirl.livejournal.com]

I have no idea when I'll get up there with the price of gas the way it is. I might be able to swing it the next time I bum a ride up to visit Giuseppi, but I'm not sure when that's going to be, either.

[hesperide.livejournal.com]

I think you have great wisdom in taking students, and in waiting until you can define for yourself what an apprentice is, and what an apprenticship under you is. That's common sense, which I am grateful is on your list of fine qualities. 8)

AS for the other, you know how jaded and disgusted I'd gotten (and still am) on the subject of suck-ups, and the wierd idea they have that getting shinied up has the power to make you forgetful or stupid. I ran away from shinies for years on that grounds, until my wishes were ignored. Be nice to the silly beasties and watch your back love... and don't forget that you are welcome to call or hide out as needed.

Lemme know if you manage to hitch a ride North too... or if I can send things with one of yours going North to South. Your Laurel prezzie has finally been delivered, and I want to see that you have it. 8)

[strawberrykaren.livejournal.com]

Hiya - it's been a slow day at the office, and so I've been surfing blogs. (Whee, Google BlogSearch (http://blogsearch.google.com) can be such big fun!)

I've had similar experiences -- probably more due to being the KMoAS here, since I'm not a Laurel.

I haven't had many requests for long-distance apprenticeships (it does happen, though; let's just say there are Flattering Misconceptions floating about), but I've handled 'em by trying to communicate with Laurels who were closer to the requester's geographical area, and who had more in common in terms of the areas that the requesters wanted to learn about in the first place. (I'd decided who'd I'd wanted to ask as my first protege before I even left the event where I was made a Pelican, though.)

All's I can recommend in terms of the fawners & suck-ups is to smile as demurely as possible, and say "Thank you." It allows you to quickly put up a façade of peerlike graciousness without coming off as I Don't Have To Put Up With You Now That I Am A Big Fancy-Pants Peer. ;) (But, then and again, that's just how I deal with that sort of thing. The demure smile and all that, I mean -- not so much the hissy-fit that I'd sometimes prefer to throw. "This old thing? Why, I was wearing it five years ago, and you spent ten minutes nitpicking it to death for being dreadfully out of period and hideous ugly; why, I'd thought you hated it!") ;)