carmenbeaudry: (Default)
Nothing like going through old family pictures with your mother and your daughter to make one introspective. In no particular order:

My mother is old. I have known and internalised this fact for many years, however she is now starting to have trouble remembering, losing things and other cognative problems. Nothing horribly major, but enough to notice. It struck me today that I have had many mothers throughout the years, as her life and mine changed and our relationship changed with time. The mother that I had in high school no longer exists except in my memory. The mother that helped to raise my children, the mother that then moved across the state when my sister's children were born, those are gone, too. The mother I have now is in some ways easier to deal with than those others, but then, I suspect that the me she's dealing with now is much easier than the sulky teen or the harassed young mother.

I am still in mourning for the loss of previous generations of my family. Not so much my grandparents and great-grandparents, but looking at old pictures of the 8 siblings of my grandmother's generation and realizing that only one is still alive, made me choke up. I miss my great-aunts. Because of generational overlap between my mother and her aunts and uncles, they were always more like her siblings, and therefor my aunts and uncles, rather than greats.

My daughter is an amazingly capable woman. I don't think I was ever as capable even before I became disabled. She is truly a force of nature.

I need my home, my husband, my dog and my friends. The last week has been difficult in ways I never anticipated. My sister and brother-in-law have a lovely home, I enjoyed spending time with Mama, and when they go on vacation again I will come and stay with her. But, it takes a toll on me.
carmenbeaudry: (Default)
7/3 Mission: Meet friends with van and truck (thank you Anthony Cain and Kathryn who's not on FB) at Lowe's to buy and transport 1100 bricks (on sale 4 for $1). Get to Lowe's, spouse drops me off at the garden center to pay for said bricks. While I'm paying, nearly get run over by the asshat who stole an entire shopping cart full of power tools by running out of the store pushing said cart. Then, sashay over to the masonry cage to load, by hand, 1100 bricks. 4 lbs each. Half went into the truck, half into the van. The merry party then drove said vehicles to my house, where we reversed the process into my driveway. I think that I might have muscles in my nose that don't hurt, but I'm not betting on that.

7/4 Happy Birthday, USA. I know we're been having some difficult times lately, but I still love you fiercely and want you to do well.
carmenbeaudry: (Default)
It's been hot most of the last week, so it's been easy not to over-eat. I didn't do as well with exercising, but I did get 2 days of an hour of yard work each, and walks on 2 days. Friday was the eldest child's birthday eve, celebrated by meeting up with friends and family for drinks. I was good, I had one gin and tonic, and then switched to sparkling water. Yesterday we were supposed to go to the Pride parade, but it was too hot to contemplate standing on concrete with several thousand people, so instead we were taken out to breakfast at a new French restaurant, which was wonderful, but I was very bad. Brioche french toast with apples and carmelized suger bad. I did have bacon with it, and I was so full that I didn't quite finish it. I also wasn't hungry again until about 8 last night, when I had a small snack of broiled chicken and salad. We were celebrating Parents Day (combination Mother's and Father's Days, because doing anything on those days is crazy) with the kids, so we took the dog and went for a long walk in the park. We played in the splash park, much to the dog's dismay, and had a great time.
carmenbeaudry: (Default)
I'm hanging on. I am very depressed, so much so that even getting out of the house seems like too much bother. I also need to stop reading Facebook so much. I'm attempting to cut that down to just checking it first thing in the morning and last thing at night. I may stop even doing that. It doesn't help my mood at all.

I'm also stuck in a holding pattern. There's loads of things I want to get done this summer, but we're (ok, mostly Wade) helping friends get their house ready to sell and then move, so most of the really productive time is being spent over there, instead of on our house/yard. I'm seriously thinking of just throwing money at it and hiring someone to do at least some of the heavy work that I can't do, but I have to wait about a month before I can do that. So, I mostly wait. I am going to have my Garden Elf come and weed two more flowerbeds next week, but planting will have to wait until next weekend maybe. I am planning on uncluttering the front porch later this morning.

I broached the idea of having a work in the garden party for my birthday last night at dinner and everyone seemed to think it was a good idea. So, I think the work in the back yard will start in August.

I feel better after writing this post. It's as if pouring it out here has gotten it out of my system and now I'm ready to return to the fray.
carmenbeaudry: (Default)
Happy Beltane to those who celebrate it, happy May Day to the rest of you.
carmenbeaudry: (Default)
I've started unfriending the LJ accounts of people I follow here on Dreamwidth. So, if you're still on LiveJournal and have found yourself unfriended, that's what's happening. I'm reading both sites and I don't need to duplicate my efforts. I spend too much time on my computer as it is.
carmenbeaudry: (Default)
Yesterday I finally bit the bullet and started emptying the storage closet in the sewing room. I have gotten very tired of not being able to find anything, especially since I know that I have a lot of fabric. The impetus was a new project: a pieced coverlet made of 3 inch squares of coating wool butted together and sewn with the decorative stitches from my sewing machine. Currently I'm putting them together into roughly 12 inch blocks and when I have enough I'll sew those together into a blanket. I couldn't find the scrap wool that I knew was there, so the closet was emptied yesterday. I've been sorting the various boxes as I go and have managed to consolidate a great deal. I think everything will be much easier to find now.

I have also found three boxes worth of projects that are cut and ready to go, including the 18th cen. foundation garments that I have on my list to cut. I'm glad I found them before I cut new ones. The plan is to finish at least one project from the box per week, and since some are just a matter of a hem or waistband, I can probably get more than that done. I have also found all of the silks, including the silk scrap box and the pieced silk coat project.

Today I want to finish with the closet and, if I have enough energy afterward, to attack the mending, which I also have found.
carmenbeaudry: (Default)
Would everyone who's on Dreamwidth do a check in here just so I can see that I'm not all by myself? I will be migrating from LJ as soon as I can, but if no one's posting here it's going to be very lonely.

Check-in

Feb. 28th, 2017 09:14 am
carmenbeaudry: (Melusine)
I am not dropping out, but I'm going to step back a bit. My father is getting much worse (he has terminal lung cancer) and I'm going to focus on spending as much time with him as possible, and helping my stepmother.

I'm depressed enough that trying to diet, especially watching sweets, just isn't working. I'm also not getting enough exercise, although I am still working on that. I'll still be reading everyone's posts, and commenting when I can, but don't expect a lot from me until things resolve.

This really sucks, folks.
carmenbeaudry: (Default)
I'm here on Dreamwidth, and reading this every day. Corbaegirl on LiveJournal, Carmen Beaudry on FB, Melusine to SCA folks. I'm not very tech savvy and I'm having to use my tablet or phone to post, so I have no idea when I'm going to get all the various accounts coordinated.

New Start

Jan. 19th, 2017 05:57 am
carmenbeaudry: (Melusine)
Day 2:  I downloaded Habitica and set up my morning and evening routines, also added guitar and piano practice, and walking.  I'm also going to try to post something daily on here.

The only worry I have is the amount of energy it takes to get all of those tasks done takes away from the amount I have to give to work.  I have 2 commissions right now, one that should go out this week, and one before Kingdom A&S.  I'm also trying to get out of the house at least once a day, even if it's just to walk around the block.

Thank you all for the kind words and suggestions, they mean a lot.
carmenbeaudry: (Melusine)
Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] corbaegirl at Habits and Technology

I have decided that I need to get serious about better habits and routines.  To that end, I'm looking for a simple daily task checklist to download to my phone.  Does anyone have any suggestions for one that would be easy to use?

carmenbeaudry: (Melusine)
I just got news from my dad.  The cancer's returned.
carmenbeaudry: (Default)
CoCo is amazing! I've never seen so many amazing costumes in one place ever. I'm so inspired to come home and sew. Also, I think tiaras should be worn every day.

CoCo prep

Jul. 27th, 2016 08:59 am
carmenbeaudry: (Default)
Good news, everything fits in one suitcase except for one hat, which I may leave behind. Bad news, my ancient suitcase, already scheduled for replacement, has finally died. I'm borrowing one tonight.

If there's anyone who would like to get together at CoCo, pm me your cell number. I'm excited about getting to put faces to names.
carmenbeaudry: (Default)
Finally, I have finished all the commissions and am off work until the 7th of Oct. of course,I still have the Child-Beast's wedding dress and her sweetie's jacket and vest to sew but that's different. I cannot begin to express how utterly tired and worn out I feel and how glad I am not to have to even think about sewing for any one else.

Besides the wedding, I have all sorts of ideas and designs I want to try, that I never have enough time to when I'm working. I want to spend time embroidering and doing needlepoint, working in the yard and maybe even (gasp) playing music.

Tonight, I think I'm going to play with makeup and make a hat or two.
carmenbeaudry: (Default)
This has got to be the best experience with a construction crew ever. They showed up exactly on time, have been careful with the mess, made sure the animals didn't get out, and they've done more than they said they would. There was a slight bit of confusion about who was supplying the paint, which was quickly fixed by a call to the project manager, but other than that, it was great. They found the cause of the leak: a hole in the wall next to the sewing room window, which was patched by shoving a random piece of wood into the hole and nailing it into place with nails so long that they penetrated the outside wall. This house was very well built in 1906, but some of the repairs since then are really interesting.

Best part? They're pretty sure they'll be done today.
carmenbeaudry: (Default)
I'm at my sister's house in Omak, on a mission of mercy. My niece is playing the lead in "Cinderella" and I got a panicked call last week from my sister asking if I could tell her how to make the transformation gown. I figured it was easier to just come over and do it myself, and it was a good excuse for a visit.

Good news: The dress transformation works. I have a few things to tweak, but those will get finished tomorrow. They would have been done today, except for the....

Bad news: I tripped over their dog this morning and literally fell flat on my face. I don't think I broke anything, but I have a bump on my forehead, a bad scrape and bump on my nose, skinned and badly bruised knees, and my back is killing me.

Not exactly what I'd planned for today.
carmenbeaudry: (Default)
I am so very glad I decided to go to The Tudor Tailor in Portland this weekend. I learned some, got validation on even more, and got to spend time with some of the most fabulous ladies and gentlemen I know. I'm terribly excited to go home and sew again, which is such a big change from the major burnout I've been experiencing.
carmenbeaudry: (Default)
Happy Beltane to all who celebrate, and Happy May Day to the rest.

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